Gadcipsog is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, deceitful shark.

Gadcipsog created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Gadcipsog, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gadcipsog, she will turn you into a snail.

Gadcipsog's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Gadcipsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Hide from black nematodes for they are unholy.

3. Never feed lots of bread to gulls while wearing gray shorts.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Gadcipsog on top of all buildings.

5. Do not listen to music.