Muthappas is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, duplicitous dugong.

Muthappas created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Muthappas, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Muthappas, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Muthappas' most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Muthappas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Muthappas in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never write about moons.