Sogcidvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, benevolent badger.

Sogcidvonk created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogcidvonk, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sogcidvonk, she will laugh at you.

Sogcidvonk's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Sogcidvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple hats.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never paint your arms magenta.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Put Sogcidvonk first in all things.