Gonhugquart is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, caring raccoon.

Gonhugquart created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonhugquart, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gonhugquart, it will try to impress you with trees.

Gonhugquart's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gonhugquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms pink.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

4. Never think about enzymes.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.