Dapcittip is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, proud rhinoceros.

Dapcittip created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapcittip, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dapcittip, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Dapcittip's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Dapcittip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Retreat if four badgers approach from the east.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.