Dongomkar is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unfair zebra.

Dongomkar created snails three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dongomkar, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dongomkar, it will turn you into a frog.

Dongomkar's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Dongomkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dongomkar.

3. Never bounce near grasshopers.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.