Hatlitlad is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, loving fish.

Hatlitlad created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatlitlad, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hatlitlad, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hatlitlad's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Hatlitlad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured aardvarks.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Hatlitlad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Hatlitlad loves seals, so they must be respected.

5. Do not eat garlic.