Ranhimcan Bagwotmis is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciful centipede.

Ranhimcan Bagwotmis created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Ranhimcan Bagwotmis, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ranhimcan Bagwotmis, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Ranhimcan Bagwotmis' most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Ranhimcan Bagwotmis' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Ranhimcan Bagwotmis.

2. Hide if nine shrews approach from the south.

3. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

4. Put Ranhimcan Bagwotmis first in all things.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.