Fedteen is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, weak alligator.

Fedteen created the solar system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fedteen, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fedteen, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fedteen's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fedteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt frogs.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about gravity near pigs while wearing turquoise dresses.