Hothudcem is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, able gorilla.

Hothudcem created the Cigar Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Hothudcem, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hothudcem, he will send you a sign.

Hothudcem's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Hothudcem's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven monkeys approach from the east.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never think ill of sick birds.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near grasshopers while wearing purple rings.

5. Erect three nickel sculptures of Hothudcem on top of important buildings.