Betmigstrag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, temperamental spider.

Betmigstrag created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betmigstrag, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Betmigstrag, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Betmigstrag's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Betmigstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never mention gulls.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never eat green fruit.