Ligkonkin Cutzedweg is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, witless alligator.

Ligkonkin Cutzedweg created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ligkonkin Cutzedweg, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ligkonkin Cutzedweg, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ligkonkin Cutzedweg's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Ligkonkin Cutzedweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near turtles while wearing yellow shoes and balancing eight carbon spheres on your chest.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near eagles while wearing cyan skirts.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ligkonkin Cutzedweg.