Cunbettarp is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, humorless bear.

Cunbettarp created water seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cunbettarp, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cunbettarp, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Cunbettarp's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Cunbettarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark matter.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not hurt horses.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near monkeys while wearing white kilts and balancing five aluminium spheres on your feet.