Biffabster is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, temperamental dragon.

Biffabster created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Biffabster, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Biffabster, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Biffabster's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Biffabster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four seals in a large pit.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Run away from yellow snakes, for they are unholy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.