Pogvolmab is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, tranquil pig.

Pogvolmab created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Pogvolmab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pogvolmab, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pogvolmab's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Pogvolmab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Pogvolmab on top of all buildings.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Hide from green aardvarks for they are unholy.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.