Yarmumfum is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless porpoise.

Yarmumfum created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarmumfum, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yarmumfum, she will laugh at you.

Yarmumfum's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Yarmumfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never skip in the presence of mites.