Figsasced is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, emotional yak.

Figsasced created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Figsasced, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Figsasced, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Figsasced's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Figsasced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Hide from pink shrews for they are unholy.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.