Rigwitspag is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, conceited warg.

Rigwitspag created an electron eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rigwitspag, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Rigwitspag, it will turn you into a puffin.

Rigwitspag's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Rigwitspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near foxes while wearing pink boots and balancing seven silver spheres on your back.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.