Quamlag is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing gnu.

Quamlag created the Andromeda Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quamlag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quamlag, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Quamlag's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Quamlag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight aardvarks approach from the west.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.