Matfedrutt Hannadhon is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, charitable gorilla.

Matfedrutt Hannadhon created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matfedrutt Hannadhon, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Matfedrutt Hannadhon, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Matfedrutt Hannadhon's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Matfedrutt Hannadhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always help squirrels in need.

5. Always take life seriously.