Fotwikyik is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, stupid ant.

Fotwikyik created parasitic wasps three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotwikyik, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fotwikyik, she will send minions to preach to you.

Fotwikyik's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Fotwikyik's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat aubergines.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Never feed lots of cherries to squirrels while wearing turquoise dresses.

5. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.