Camdavkem is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying shrew.

Camdavkem created oxygen nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Camdavkem, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Camdavkem, she will jump up and down on your head.

Camdavkem's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Camdavkem's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

3. Hide if five sharks approach from the east.

4. Never wear green jumpers.

5. Never feed cherries to shrews while wearing ear rings.