Figortbun is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, caring wolf.

Figortbun created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Figortbun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Figortbun, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Figortbun's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Figortbun's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Figortbun.

2. Never feed lentils to cats while wearing dresses.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always obey Figortbun's priests.