Lakbenbam is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, weak bat.

Lakbenbam created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakbenbam, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lakbenbam, it will come to you in dreams.

Lakbenbam's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Lakbenbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.