Fidcabfum is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, proud snail.

Fidcabfum created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidcabfum, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fidcabfum, she will turn you into a rock.

Fidcabfum's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Fidcabfum's Holy Commandments

1. Fidcabfum loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

2. Always wear cyan.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.