Lopgenmisvol is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, self-assured monkey.

Lopgenmisvol created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Lopgenmisvol, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lopgenmisvol, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Lopgenmisvol's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Lopgenmisvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt ducks.

2. Do not take Lopgenmisvol's name in vain.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. You must pray to Lopgenmisvol four times a day.