Nartfaszak Tipvenarn is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, pitiless jackal.

Nartfaszak Tipvenarn created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartfaszak Tipvenarn, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nartfaszak Tipvenarn, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nartfaszak Tipvenarn's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Nartfaszak Tipvenarn's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Never jump in the presence of sharks.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never think about asteroids.