Dossquaffeb is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, fussy newt.

Dossquaffeb created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Dossquaffeb, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Dossquaffeb, she will make you grow a tail.

Dossquaffeb's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Dossquaffeb's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five squirrels approach from the south.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

3. Retreat if four badgers approach from the west.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.