Habcussgom is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, vain mole.

Habcussgom created the solar system twelve years ago.

If you believe in Habcussgom, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Habcussgom, it will refuse to believe in you.

Habcussgom's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Habcussgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs black.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Always help sick porpoises.