Fidjanbif is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, tiresome shrew.

Fidjanbif created the Tadpole Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidjanbif, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fidjanbif, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fidjanbif's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Fidjanbif's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never talk about dark matter near gulls while wearing fawn coats.

5. Never feed lots of garlic to dogs while wearing white dresses.