Minstiphog is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, self-assured goblin.

Minstiphog created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minstiphog, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Minstiphog, it will not care at all.

Minstiphog's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Minstiphog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Never eat parsnips.

3. You must never eat nuts.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

5. Never talk about bacteria.