Nartgeptom is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, stupid finch.

Nartgeptom created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartgeptom, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nartgeptom, she will not invite you to parties.

Nartgeptom's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Nartgeptom's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near snakes while wearing magenta shoes.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about monkeys.

5. Worship no other gods but Nartgeptom.