Gunveenceppom is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, amazing jackal.

Gunveenceppom created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunveenceppom, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gunveenceppom, she will turn you into a puffin.

Gunveenceppom's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gunveenceppom's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Always obey Gunveenceppom's priests.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.