Xuckwabcam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless skunk.

Xuckwabcam created everything that exists two billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckwabcam, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xuckwabcam, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Xuckwabcam's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Xuckwabcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.