Loopnatdudzig Parkmadbun is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, tranquil cow.

Loopnatdudzig Parkmadbun created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Loopnatdudzig Parkmadbun, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Loopnatdudzig Parkmadbun, it will turn you into a mouse.

Loopnatdudzig Parkmadbun's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Loopnatdudzig Parkmadbun's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.