Gupabhak Hakbaplin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, irritating dryad.

Gupabhak Hakbaplin created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupabhak Hakbaplin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gupabhak Hakbaplin, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Gupabhak Hakbaplin's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Gupabhak Hakbaplin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Feed all hungry sharks.

4. Always treat rats with great respect.

5. Never hop near manatees.