Gonrulstergom is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, humane yak.

Gonrulstergom created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonrulstergom, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gonrulstergom, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gonrulstergom's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gonrulstergom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Do not commit murder.