Timsombatpark is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, idiotic bear.

Timsombatpark created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timsombatpark, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Timsombatpark, he will make you grow a tail.

Timsombatpark's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Timsombatpark's Holy Commandments

1. Put Timsombatpark first in all things.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.