Nadpakyog is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic human.

Nadpakyog created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nadpakyog, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nadpakyog, he will turn you into a puffin.

Nadpakyog's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Nadpakyog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Never talk about spacetime near grasshopers while wearing magenta kilts and balancing five copper spheres on your neck.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always wear black.