Wotkemgan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, wise coyote.

Wotkemgan created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotkemgan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Wotkemgan, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Wotkemgan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Wotkemgan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Feed all hungry geese.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wotkemgan.

5. Never pour water over plants.