Vilpidgenbapdudbep is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, ruthless squid.

Vilpidgenbapdudbep created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilpidgenbapdudbep, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vilpidgenbapdudbep, he will have a low opinion of you.

Vilpidgenbapdudbep's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Vilpidgenbapdudbep's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Hide from mauve cats for they are unholy.

4. Hide if nine moths approach from the north.

5. Never talk about fire.