Hascidjon is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, prudent alligator.

Hascidjon created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hascidjon, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hascidjon, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Hascidjon's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Hascidjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt whales.

2. You must pray to Hascidjon three times a day.

3. Retreat if eight bats approach from the west.

4. Always wear black.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hascidjon.