Yamfetloopkabrakveghun is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, weak parrot.

Yamfetloopkabrakveghun created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yamfetloopkabrakveghun, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yamfetloopkabrakveghun, he will have a low opinion of you.

Yamfetloopkabrakveghun's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Yamfetloopkabrakveghun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always help nematodes in need.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory.

5. Never hop near monkeys.