Stafratyim is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciful chinchilla.

Stafratyim created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafratyim, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Stafratyim, she will destroy your home solar system.

Stafratyim's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Stafratyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eukaryotes.

2. Eagles are not to be trusted.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Learn six new languages a year.