Rigtapton is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, merciless monkey.

Rigtapton created the Black Eye Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rigtapton, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rigtapton, it will send minions to preach to you.

Rigtapton's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Rigtapton's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick manatees.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Always take life seriously.