Cabstanven is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, annoying bear.

Cabstanven created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabstanven, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cabstanven, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Cabstanven's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Cabstanven's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Cabstanven loves moths, so they must be respected.

5. Hide if three hamsters approach from the south.