Ladvedben is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, merciless mouse.

Ladvedben created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladvedben, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ladvedben, it will turn you into a worm.

Ladvedben's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Ladvedben's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Pray towards the south.