Bapgeblip is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, stupid swallow.

Bapgeblip created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapgeblip, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bapgeblip, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bapgeblip's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Bapgeblip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never feed nuts to cats while wearing pink scarves.

4. Bapgeblip loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Pray towards the south.