Tintarvan is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, egotistical ferret.

Tintarvan created the Sunflower Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Tintarvan, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tintarvan, it will make you grow a tail.

Tintarvan's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Tintarvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not hurt hamsters.

4. Never feed lots of cucumbers to mice while wearing gray stockings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.