Kembimpangdam Dudmonbushen is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, omnipotent weasel.

Kembimpangdam Dudmonbushen created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kembimpangdam Dudmonbushen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kembimpangdam Dudmonbushen, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kembimpangdam Dudmonbushen's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Kembimpangdam Dudmonbushen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always help swans.

3. Do not eat strawberries.

4. Always look after injured great tits.

5. Always stare at clouds.